piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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