he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So much rum. So many feels.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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