i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
