Im at strip club and am horny
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
