dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
