I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
