i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
did you just send me my own nude
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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