Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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