I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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