she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
