I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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