I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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