You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
