Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
