I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
