what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
