Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
