I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
