Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize