i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
