we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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