no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
