Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
