Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
