Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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