I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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