I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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