Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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