I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
