those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
