fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
