Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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