If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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