it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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