he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize