Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
