I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize