garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize