How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
