He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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