Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
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