You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
