i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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