Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
