O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
