he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
