This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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