Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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