I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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