I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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