nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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