i just had sex bonerless
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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