Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
