I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I cut my penus on the lid.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
