He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
