similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want a musical about memes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
