would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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