This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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